Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I FOUND IT !

and oh i almost forget. for all those form-four-soon-to-be-s, im selling away all my reference and revision books from spm. i have loads of them for almost every subject even arts. just ...email me or facebook me or something. everything is going up for half price or less. im not talking about those thin scrawled exercise books but the thick really handy ones. you'll learn that the textbooks are really not enough when it comes to everything except history. i also have textbooks. loads of em. perhaps it might help me gather funds for candy canes. just contact me. i dont bite. im mildly tame unless unfed or pms. lots of loves(yet again)
now that im done cursing the world, hello planet earth! which reminds me of this really cute advert on discovery channel. i'll post it up if i can find it. really catchy and everything and so cute!

back in reality, oh this is really the worst holiday ever... there are so much to do and so little time. i need to get my drivers license which i had been pushing dates all year now, i want to get a job but who cares now im going to start college by january anyway, i want to have fun but since it was overly hyped during all the stress and strain of spm-the real thing, im not getting enough of it (and yes i do get a little joy by being able to say spm without feeling weights all over my shoulders)

oh ...i just cant complain much. at least i do not have the lifespan of flies.

christmas is up soon!
im not really in the mood yet. still too bugged down by bugs. lol. feverish every now and then. i have no gawking idea how im going to go about it this year. usually i go about selling christmas cards for funds...... i guess i could take in a few last minute orders....... oh no no ... it will be too late by the time i return from thailand. but do tell me if you want to see them anyways.

lots of love from yours truly, the moon. (get it??)
okay...i said i was coming back. for once i actually meant to come back and type in another post or two after dinner. but as comically possible, twist of fate had me down with chicken pox. so there i was. lying on the bed. sicker than i have ever been all year round. who would have had had known that it was so excruciating.it wasnt the itch . honestly there werent much itch at all. it was, in fact the constant aches all over and the sleeplessness when you want to and the sleeping when the sun is up. it wasnt as easily simple as i am describing it but trust me when i say its not a bloody bed of roses. i would know. i love roses. but thats not the point so where was i?.... no i cant recall. but who bloody cares. there are so many things to do now that im a new person. literally. my face can be the ultimate metaphor to describe the goddamned surface of mars..

sigh...i really do have so much emotions in me. too much for a guy. sometimes i dont think of myself as a male. more like...... a crab. a simple, sidewalking, bottomfeeding, shortlived, sometimes a delicacy crustacean. i would have loved that. (its my other personality talking)

oh god no. im getting nauseas again...... right now i live day by day telling myself this would not befall me again.why why why would this infuriating,skin-inflaming disease be a necessary creation of god? WHY???????>>>>>

Friday, December 5, 2008

flashbacks!

ok here goes. i know spm was long over and my blog had been more dead than ever , but you cant blame me for wanting to do nothing after so many years of being under the governmental education system. i have been looking forward for this way long before spm even started. nevertheless i have had my wish and right now its killing me that im too free. who would have had known that doing nothing could be so frustrating. it goes up into my head and gives me mood swings. every now and then i have to remind myself that i have a phallus and im not pregnant.

spm was without a doubt no fun.i studied so much i wanted to cry and just sleep. although there were days between exams but the timing is so ridiculous. fancy having exams from eight in the morning to four in the afternoon. by the time it ended we were all so exhausted that just thinking of physics test the next day might be fatal. i would have had taken pictures of all the sebum coated faces and tousled hairs but i was just as wrecked. so nevermind that.

people keeps telling me that i would miss school and i am sure i will but right now, i just want to hate it. and then i can realise how true what they all said and tell people younger than me they will miss school so the whole cycle can start again. its the whole experience, kinda like a rite of passage.

i say that if you can endure spm ( if you are the serious about it la) you can endure almost (a.l.m.o.s.t.) anything. you learn to divide your time to chapters you need to study, survive on minimal sleep and nervous breakdowns. i have had my share of all that and by the time its all over, you seriously feel grateful everytime you wake up in the middle of the night, look at the time, and remind yourself that you can still sleep for another four hours. i still recall how i would sleep for half an hour between studying sessions so that i wouldnt think of all the negative things in the world. thank god the mumbai thing happened after the exams (RIP: its worth another post later)

i now believe on the existence of post spm stress. its not only the results you are worried of, but more of all the stress you put on yourself so that you have fun. too much fun is bad for you. and so is trying too hard.

ok im going to scram right now but I WILL BE BACK>>

Saturday, October 18, 2008

okay....this is going to sound oxymoronic but i will be away for the next two months or so.

SPM...

dont worry

you'll see me again.
even thats if i dont jump off a cliff after add math paper.

lol. any scenic one to recommend anybody?

lots of love.
and if there is anything, just cell me ok?
xx

Thursday, October 2, 2008

tagged

Name: Marcus C.y. Tong
Sisters: one
Brothers: Two
Shoe size: nine to ten
Height : 174 last checked
Where do you live: Klang
Favourite drinks: fizzed or spiked
Favourite breakfast: eggs/ham/sandwich. lots of em
Have you everBeen on a plane?: once
Swam in the ocean: more like played in the ocean. is snorkelling swimming??
Fallen asleep at school: never. i was (and still am) a good kid
Broken someone’s heart: Don't know(i think i did)
Fell off your chair : yea
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: No
Saved e-mails: no
What is your room like: messed
What’s right beside you: cell. biology book
What is the last thing you ate: Dinner
Sore throat: frequent
Stitches: No
Do you believe in love at first sight: it depends
Like picnics: Yes
Who was the last person you danced with: my own image in the toilet
Last made you smile: some guy
You last yelled at: my brother

Today did you:
Talk to someone you like: yea.
Kissed anyone: wished i had
Get sick: No
Talk to an ex: Don't have one
Miss someone: more than one
Eat: look at me

Best feeling in the world: fantasizing-no details
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: occasionally. if my sister lets me
What’s under your bed: dust
Who do you really hate: too many. i dont bother remembering
What time is it now? 10.10pm

Random:
Is there a person who is on your mind now:correction=persons
Do you have any siblings: yes
Do you want children: someday
Do you smile often: quite. depending who it is. i dont smile by myself like a lunatic
Do you like your hand-writing: sometimes, i have multiple personalities
Are your toe nails painted: what do you think??
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: some random person
What color shirt are you wearing now: Black
What were you doing at 7:00 p.m. yesterday: dinner with some aussie fellas
I can’t wait till...: I earn enough to holiday all year round
When did you cry last: yesterday. i was emo-ing at the beach with hans zimmer
Are you a friendly person: sometimes my alter ego does the complete opposite
Do you have any pets: No
Where is the person you have feelings for right now:...i dont know... doing a lancome add perhaps??
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now? no
Do you sleep with the TV on? On holidays
What are you doing right now: stripping. getting a bath soon
Have you ever crawled through a window: you think i can fit?
Can you handle the truth: no
Are you too forgiving: me forgiving is a exceptionally rare thing
Are you closer to your mother or father: Mother
Who was the last person you cried in front of: never
How many people can you say you’ve really loved: I don't know.
Do you eat healthy: ya right
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex: no. im a loner
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?: Yes, ithink..
If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to? My pillow and shower
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?: blatantly loud
Are you confident?: Yes

5things I was doing 10 years ago:
(i) thinking of growing up
(ii) admiring secondary school kids
(iii) thinking about driving one day so i can go to the playground on my own
(iv) homework
(v) eat papayas

5 things on my to-do list today:
(i) Study
(ii) go shatter a friends house
(iii) pee
(iv) poo
(v) poof

snacks I enjoy:
(i) cheesecake
(ii) ice cream
(iii) booze
(iv) anything iced
(v) strawberries

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
(i) Go on a shopping spree
(ii) go to santorini
(iii) get a house of my own on a private island
(iv) travel
(v) fulfill the deeds of a loyal son

5 of my bad habits:
(i) sleep a lot
(ii) eat too much
(iii) hate sports- in school
(iv) hate too much
(v) insult like nobodies business

5 jobs I've had:
1. student
2. waiter (it was only one day)
3. review writer
4. sucker
5. shopping mall decorative ornament ( no mall is complete without me hovering around.lol)

5 OF MY HOBBIES:
1. Read
2. Draw/Paint
3. Travel
4. Take walks around the highlands
5. burn on the beach

5 People to Tag
1. GG
2. Siti Sarah
3. Sam shern-cause you suck
4. Siu chern- cause your blog is practically dead
5. Aisha- this is seriously the most intense tag, my corneas are cracked up.lol

Saturday, September 13, 2008

its my trials now so ...yea i will be out for awhile (pfft..as if i wasnt already) but here goes,
for the sake of posting ,
and for the sake of fondness,
i present to you,


the one who is always with a spoon.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

im emo from looking for schools. yes i said school. not college, not university, and not form six either. bite me.

garh!!!...
will be back when my violent tendencies are gone.

*out*

Saturday, August 16, 2008

FEATURE: Adi Arfan Mikhail: LOVE & UNITY

Link hopping around flickr, i came across this great set of photographs that struck me as new, fresh and truly inspirational. They were simple, monochromic and sincere in its potrayal of ordinary Malaysians. every picture captures the uniqueness within each different individual. as if that werent enough, my newfound friend from ampang, fondly known as ADI, succeeded in doing so whilst passing along the message of unity and maintaining a flawless quality of picture taking.

Words alone cannot do these photos justice, and what better way to share this discovery than to feature them here, right on this blog... beauty is in the eye of the beholder. you be the judge and dont forget to drop your comments.

marcs.













pictures credited to adi arfan mikhail. thanks again!
For more pictures, click here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/razorline/sets/72157606169866918/

Friday, August 15, 2008

We the RAKyat LAH

and so the bug was finally debugged! just in time for me to rant about this new song while its still my current muse. click on the video below and you might just see what im trying to say. even after countless replays and toilet kareoke sessions it still has not failed to fill me with warmth and fuzziness (and the urge to hug everyone).

why so significant you say?
well, the fact that the singers and actors and producers etc, etc produced this music video (and the song) without any charges at all is why! its absolutely free. you can download everything from their website (see links). and when i say everything, i MEAN everything. THese influential people actually did all this and dedicated it to all malaysians who love the nation.

it is the true essence of the malaysian sentiment which many have failed to keep at heart after the many issues faced by our country lately. we are the ones who would determine the future of our much loved malaysia. no matter what political views we have, no matter how the colour of our skins differ, malaysia would always be our home.so do your part and spread the love to help put an end to racism!

I LOVE MALAYSIA !!!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Tribute

Like every good work of art, you need to step back a little to see the true beauty.
Sure, the sounds are a little off and the whole movie is in black and white but behind all those rough edges you would find that it is a devotion to the true malaysian lifestyle. Post war- where malaysians were proud to be malaysians and no community boundaries exist. Ramlee is without doubt the pinnacle that had brought rise to the then budding entertainment industry in malaysia.

a witty sense of humour, sensational voice and the uncanny ability to captivate viewers, ramli puteh (birth name) found his way to the hearts of many people. He, unlike most modern celebrities who had the vulgar to call themselves singers, sang without the help of computer alterations and still managed to produce music that reaches to those who really listened.

i would fondly remember those days when i was young and still lived with my grandmother. Whether she is cleaning the tables or sweeping the porch, she can often be found dancing lightly and singing, humming to the tunes immortalised by the late legend himself.

It is a great loss to the nation that such a talent should return to the divine at a young age of 44. god be with him.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

tagged

The Music Shuffle Meme
1. Put your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must put down the song name no matter what.
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves.

What would best describe your personality?
Tres tres chic-mocean worker.
this is so coincidental..

What do you like in a guy/girl?
torn-natalie imbruglia
goodness i prey on damsels in distress

How do you feel today?
hands down-dashboard confessionals
i have no idea what to say

What is your life's purpose?
into the fire-thirteen senses
great now i jump into fires??!! i didnt even knew that!

What is your motto?
live and learn-the cardigans
"well you live and you learn"

What do your friends think of you?
keep breathing-ingrid michaelson
aaw...theyre breathless in my presence..

What do you think of your parents?.
leaving netherland-dario marianelli
no comment

What do you think about very often?
rescue me-dario marianelli
ah...perhaps i do need rescuing.
*hands flailing in the air*
save me
save me

What do you think of your best friend?
aint no mountain high enough-diana ross
wahahahahhahaha
just the other day we were singing to this in the arts room in school

What do you think of your crush?
love letters-dario marianelli
i will always be the secret in the shadows. no one will know. not even myself

What is your life story?
breakable-ingrid michaelson
it IS shaky...

What do you want to be when you grow up?
highway-ingrid michaelson
HIGHWAY??HIGHWAY??
IM GOING TO BE A HIGHWAY??!
wheres the sense in that??

What do you think when you see your crush?
junk of the hearts-the cardigans
extreme irony

What do your parents think of you?
no one-alicia keys
oh my goodness... again, this is pure coincidence.
NOT TRUE!!

What do strangers think of you?
beautiful stranger-madonna
my phone is possessed...

What will they play at your funeral?
beautiful-moby
says it all

What will you dance to at your wedding?
breathe-anna nalick
then it is true.. marriage is more than just rings and flings.

What is your hobby/interest?
screaming infidelities- dashboard confessionals.
What the heck??!

What do you think of your friends?
barracuda-fergie
they certainly are vicious

What song do you listen to when you are sad?
all star- smash mouth
talk about self worship

What song do you air guitar to?
i think were alone now- girls aloud
it is kind of catchy..

What should be your signature karaoke song?
for what its worth-the cardigans
everything is priceless

What is your greatest desire?
i need some fine wine and you need to be nicer-the cardigans
said it all yet again

What does next year have in store for you?
vogue-madonna
Vogue? Vogue? whoopie!

What's your outlook on life?
shiver-natalie imbruglia
*shivers*

How will you die?
call the shots- girls aloud
i'll sing this to fate

Do people secretly lust after you?.
desperate housewives- theme song
im no gardener

The best advice you will ever get
kiss me- the cardigans
whoa!... steady on!

What will I be doing for the next 3 months?
cosy in the rocket-norah jones
sounds fun..but i doubt it would be all that cosy

What do you think of the person who tagged you?
lovefool-the cardigans
IM SO SORRY KHADI!!!

What will your future mother-in-law be like?
where is the love-the black eyed peas

What is the favourite song of the doctor who will help deliver your baby?
please sister-the cardigans
Dont you dare do a mistake or you will be seeing god for yourself!!

If you wrote a book, what would it be about?
city of blinding lights-U2
oh i just love paris!
je suis très, très reconnaissant

What sort of world ruler would you be?
hanging by a moment-lifehouse
by all means dont ever vote for me

Will you ever get a dog or cat?
im a believer- smash mouth
dog perhaps??

What would you say at your Oscar/Nobel prize acceptance speech?
touch my body-mariah carey
imagine that! would have had caused a stir

What is your superpower?
the best deception-dashboard confessionals
im a big fat liar

Why are you attracted to enigmatic brooders?
what kind of fool- barbara streisand featuring bee gees

FINALLY!! im done!that was the longest tag i have ever completed.
phew! talk about exhaustion.

i tag:
gg
aisha
mei yen
sarah (yes i had just double tagged you)

Sunday, June 22, 2008

on the lighter side

choose thy words nicely or face the publicity.
(if he had a wife im sure the obituary might be out on the third day)

So i lied. what are you going to do about it? throw a flaming cow at me??

hello again. thank you for the great feedbacks.


whats with me lately?

im good and thats the reason. as funny as it may sound, i blog only when im emo, writing requires passion and sometimes, emotion. and thats what makes a good piece. im sure that many would agree with me.


now that the mid term i mentioned in the last post had ended nearly two months before, the real deal for any other form five-ers are drawing closer, lets begin.

not exactly what i had in mind but hey look! flaming cow!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

ITS OVER!!!!

finally im free to roam the vast clutters of the house without feeling guilty or needing to puke!
look1 here i am wasting my time.
blah
blah
blah....
muahhahahahahahah
wahhahahahahahaah
..
.

.
i need to steady on.
will be back lol

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Mid year kills and so i will

ANNOUNCEMENT:

i shall be absent for ...give or take one month. the mid year exams are round the corner. sigh... time flies....

with that i shall be having emotional turbulences and will not be capable to have a proper intellectual conversation. i might jump off a cliff (bungee la... im not self destructive). but thats not before you see my name on the newspaper as the student go bezerk.

PS i love you guys. and if theres anything just leave a message on msn.

xoxo- wish me luck

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Friday, April 18, 2008

Breakfast at Tiffany's






well...i kinda like the song so i did some digging. turns out , this movie was the birth of all things chick-lit. its lovely, very demure and simple. lets not forget that she is pretty as well, in a ...retro, kind of way.and that cat, its just so so so adorable, even when wet. snuggly and poofy





i couldnt find a newer, more refined version of this song online, so heres the original sang by the queen herself.its on the right of this page, the song is called moon river. lovely aint it??


you might have realised that she is a rather iconic inspiration for pop art lately, trust me.

lots of loves

Thursday, April 17, 2008

by any other name, would smell as sweet



i feel really random today, i suppose lousy post is better than no post huh??

the following are copied from other sources and may need parental guidance.
some may be sexist others plain stupid.

lets begin with the sexist one:

Woman's Quote of the Day:
"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with"

Men's Counter-Quote of the Day:
"Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache.

heres for the ladies:

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news", God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

heres what "clever" people have to say:

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest


China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. Former French President Charles de Gaulle

The Internet is a great way to get on the Net. Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole

Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas. Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana.... The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are. Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22

It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. Former U.S. VicePresident Dan Quayle

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal antismoking campaign

first prize winner:


Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff. Mariah Carey, pop singer


have fun reading

poof**

Monday, April 14, 2008

behold, the owl! hoot...

part two

the birds begin to awaken, marking the coming end of night. blades of the tall grasses wave politely, whistling a low tune of goodbye whilst doing so. the night so calming. re-energises and invigorates the senses again. so beautiful as she is dark and mysterious. for some preposterous reason this charm of the darkness is feared and deemed evil. this i cannot fathom. this i dont understand.

......

i close my eyes in the midst of the sounds of light fluttering moths trying to imagine dawn. what is usually thought of as the new beginning. perhaps it is. although it might be not,maybe instead a reminder of the passing of yesterday , left forever and never to return again, except in the bleak memories for those whom that little part of everyone elses life had been significant,placed atop other previous memories soon to be buried just as deep.

i tried to imagine
tried to picture the rising sun above all creations.
but i couldnt.

.....

as i sit up to view the valley one last time before day breaks in,i see light puffs of translucent smoke rise to the sky from little houses, some lit by single golden bulbs some by tubes of blinding white light. both created by Man, both created for Man.

a sigh escapes from me and the tiresome toads seemed to do just the same but in a louder manner just enough to startle me from my mind for a moment.

behind the kind owl hoots again. to tell me he is still in my company. i couldnt help but feel the need to show him some gratitude. i got up and started to trudge along the green bluegrass with its little violet flowers popping beneath the scarce light. the earth is cold under my bare feet, glad to be blessed with the sensation of stepping on the soft ground, feeling every step with the sound of crunching greens and brittle twigs, as if welcoming me to the embrace of the loving forest, home of many, origin of more.

.......

i walk slowly. salvaging every breath of awe while walking through passages of tall arched trees carved carefully by the artist with intense details to create a most beautiful sight decorated by falling leaves and sparkling drops of pure water lighted by the moon, whose presence is with the grace of fleeting time.


night flowers grow in huddled bunches every here and there exuding raw scents that tinge and hang in the invisible air , making the night venture even more unbelievably magical than it already is. the eye captures the rapturous dance of life and the inner beauty of the Life-giver in a way that no one has ever seen. the glory of nature lies in the eye of the beholder, because there is simply no other way to preserve the evanescent spirit in harmonious motion.
graceful, demure and fair.

.......

the owl hoots again...........

Sunday, April 13, 2008

im tagged

Instructions : Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged

1. do you prefer nineteen or twenty?
neither

2. If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
nothing other than the things i have already said, i wouldnt want to send them into frenzy thinking im contemplating suicide(which i did. once)

3. What do you fear most in life?
living and dying in the same place. life is too short to not see the world.

4. When you pangsai, which position you prefer? Sit or squad? And Why?
quote aisha: What kind of question is that?!!

5. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
New York where i hope to work and live in someday, angkor before it lies in ruins, france (someday), bora-bora or maldives where i would just stay in the water the days(or night if its possible).

6. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
im twenty and successful with whatever im doing with money so much i afford to pave the floors with gold (hey the question said one dream)

7. Do you believe you can survive without money?
totally no money, no. little money, yes. but wouldnt it be easier to go through days with more to spare??

8. What are you afraid to lose the most?
life

9. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
keep it and pretend i didnt win no money and then surprise other random people who needs it by slipping money under their doors anonymously.

10. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
yea, i would probably just do it. under the moonlit beach with the sound of lapping waves, over breakfast with cool highland air or whilst lying on a lavender field. yes i would, but again its until im capable of keeping her with a good life. till then i would just keep on with being the secret quiet admirer.

11. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
aisha: sincere, thoughtful, generally really nice person.

12. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
i'll know when i meet her.

13. Are you ready for marriage? Why not or why yes?
WHO created these questions??!!

14. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
she smokes, snarl at little kiddies, kicks cute doggies, thinks flowers are a source of allergy, hates nature, spends money like nitrogen in air,overly/obsessesively dependant .

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
i sort of answered this in question 3.

16. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
whats not to love?.

17. Are you a shopaholic or not?
depends, i have the bling ??.

18. 10 years down the road, who will you become?
me.

19. What is/are ur trademark(s)?
im hoping i have none.

20. What do you really want to do right now?
kill the person who'd stolen my calculator right before add math test causing me to not be able to finish the pea of a paper and me trembling and shaking so much that i wasnt able to hold a stapler properly and still shaking during history paper. that person better not let me find him/her. he/she might lose his inerts there and then .

I tag:
mei yen
nikki
ginga
whoever needs tagging

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

part one

i feel the caressing winds slide through my hair as it glides over my skin,taking away the heaviness and leaving, in its place, a comforting emptiness. The forementioned wind is relentless. She goes on and on.never stops, never will. even as it rustle through the leaves granted by the early seasons and over oceans of ancient waters.

I lie on my back over the hill of miniature proportions elevated on fields so low it stands awkward like a white elephant, a freak of nature but no less beautiful. the night sky hangs low over the lands as if mourning for a lover not returned. the velvet black cries. Honest tears of pure light, scattered, like the souls of fighters lost on the battlefield... sparkling,like the hopes of minds innocent and unstained. why such sadness? for should you not be she who lightens the dark and darken the light?

....

the seasoned owl hoots softly in the mists shrouding veils on dissapointments left aside by no one who cares. i touch the grasses between my fingers, cool and damp. sweet and green, even without looking, i know...... for she is the one to trust when all else fails. never saying much she quietly pains under me trying hard to go on.nevertheless i know, because she is too a big a part of my existence, of ours. shes hope and we are hers.

the air is silent, loud with the quiet budding of the frail flower buds vying for the rays of the last of the wintersuns in the moments to come . i listen..... i never had. its deafening. the way the bees hum restlessly in their hives, waiting for the sign to resume the battle for survival. why has'nt anyone else heard them? creeping vines and twining shoots curl in agony to reach for the heavens. the things they do, as subtle as it is, meant more than all that we ever have done. why does no one listen to them? why not?

........

she keeps everything prim and proper. never fails to bring the miracles of the days we havetaken for granted. despite it all......... all the appreciations we never gave, her existence we have come to forget, she stays her roots. like in everything else, she comes and goes in the things we see and the things look. its us who tend to oversee. she is there, alone,waiting for our return.... but until then, we overlook.



(to be continued)
ps: i wrote the first half of this during the last fives minutes of english test for no apparent reason.i guess boredom has many ways of expressing itself.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

bedlam where?

i just read mei yens blog....scary how much she posts. she actually takes the time to write and
re-conjure thoughts and things that happened to her since her last post. scary....

i need a smack in the head. sorry, but like i mentioned in my first post , im not the type to write it all down. especially not for all to read. well... unless im depressed, which is happening in an alarming frequency lately. lol.

so in case my will and attempt to post more often in the future burns out, heres wishing AISHA a big great birthday!! its this wednesday people (9th april). LA la LA la LA la

*poof
*

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

fesse grosse -in memoriam-

-its a shocker-

we grief..
for dearly beloved..
recently departed friend
whom we had learned to cope with..
whom we had grew to laugh with..
and shared priceless moments
....despite your unpredictable mood swings

sorry you have to leave now
without any prior notice
but we are glad for you
glad you get to be with They...
who you really aught to be with
glad that you finally get your dream come true.

we acknowledge your hardships
we try..
as discreetly as possible..
the way you live every next day
to give you the support
and remind you...
of the people around you..
who still care

its saddening.
its a grief.
it leaves an empty void in our niche
you are truly one of a kind
unusual....
but definately one of a kind.

now that you are there
and we are here,
we may not meet as much
nor talk with one another
but someday..
someday...
we'll meet

and together we'll reminisce
our little memories
and the times
we had spent carelessly
but which had made a difference
to each of us.

we love you
and we always will.

R.I.P.
C yo

R - Realism
I - as Insanely as
P - Possible

goodbye and goodluck to your new beginning in sunway.
may everything be well and reap the joys you deserve

truly,
5 Science 3

PS - who would've known i was a hell of a liturgist.
PSS - please be noted that NO ONE is DEAD!!

Friday, March 14, 2008

im drained

i slept last night with solid determination to wake up the next day and be as useful as i can to myself; study, homework; assignments. despite all that hot gas, i woke up today 3 hours later than the alarm i've set.the blood sluicing in the hollows of my veins feel cool, light, barely there. everytime i step foot to do something i feel the nausea rising like a monster buried deep and rising to seek revenge.

im sick.
im depressed.
i feel empty.
i crave the warm rays of the sun.
hoping the glorious warmth can fill me up again somehow.
..
..
..

my mum is calling me out in a very weird manner. be right back...

*traipsing downstairs*



OMG!!!! finally!! something exciting!! my house is flooded!! whoo!! isnt this fun??!!
goodbye!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

on the bright side

all the bitterness and i forgot about the better things.MY birthday!

yea its over but it was one of my best. we went to the highlands to celebrate. the weather was beautiful, absolutely charming compared to the polluted gaseous matter we call "air" down here. i received more sms greetings this year than i ever had before and the number of people who'd stayed until 12 just to call me is alarming!! so heres a bunch of loving thanks to all those who had the sincerity to spend mobile credit for me! aisha, for the great book. hong seng, for the unnecessarily abnormal chain of sms-es, and all the rest who are dear.

thank you all and warm hugs.

-title-less-

ok i admit (despite the obviousness) that it has been long since i have posted. of all the many bright and shiny days i have to choose today. the day i feel most unlikely to post anything at all. truth be told i have not been feeling rather well lately. i all started on the day SPM 2007 results were announced. its sickening. the nausea, the bloated-ness, the migrain(watched atonement? its pronouncced me-grain. as in mee goreng), worse of all, the sudden urge to cry for no apparent reason. however,i would still not allow myself to think of myself as sick. lame philosophy but i think that you are what you think you are.

these signs...my mum said were the unmistakeable signs of pregnancy, PMS, and menopause. all i could do was look at her miserably and whine how this was supposed to make me feel any better. funny you may say but not very when you are the one sitting in front of the computer fighting the urge to barf.

not to mention all my untended homeworks. seni folio (aisha i just read your blog) is no less uncared for during the past six days of holiday. no doubt this was week was the most unproductive this whole year. a friend (HS), suggested that my mild depression was somehow caused by SPM. couldnt help but agree. everyone i know didnt get straight A's. and me?

im depressed. there i said it.

hail god! who art in heaven. help thy nauseas son art in chemistry in physics.
(another side effect of me-grain. it makes me all poetic,)
ps: i wanna cry again.....

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

im back! finally

great to know some people missed me.lol. sorry for the draggy posts but you cant blame me for wanting to sleep everytime i get back from school now can you? yes im a pig. truth be told. haha.

look i'll be away for the next four days and i will be back with more stories and photos. love all of you guys out there.

see you soon.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Exams helter skelter

the jeopardy is on its way. expect my absence for a week or so....

loves and cuddles

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Corporate Lessons

CORPORATE LESSON # 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $ 800 just to drop that towel that you have on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs! When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the! $800 he owes me?"

MORAL OF THE STORY: Share critical credit information with your stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!


CORPORATE LESSON # 2
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the mind is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory." MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great opportunities! CORPORATE LESSON #3 Usually the junior executives and staff of the company generally play football; the middle level managers are more interested in tennis and the top management usually has a preference for Golf.

MORAL OF THE STORY: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size.


CORPORATE LESSON # 4
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly, Sir" said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

MORAL OF THE STORY- Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.


CORPORATE LESSON # 5
There were these 4 guys, Russian President Putin, Germany's Chancellor Kohl, America's Dictator Bush and French Premiere Chirac who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French Premiere Chirac wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian President Putin turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is American's Randy. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Mind your language, you never know what it will land you in.

A daughters letter to her mother

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children. Your daughter, Judith PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

An old man is asked to get his sperm count at part of a physical exam and this is what happens

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor to give a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing" The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get that darn jar open."

5 Best Things to Say When Caught Sleeping at Your Desk

5. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

4. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course
you sent me to."

3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."

2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"

And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...

1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen."

UPDATED

i am updating this blog.
please be notified

blip.
blip.
blip.

UPDATED!!!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

My first!!

1.Do this tag and answer all the questions in your own blog.
2. Delete question no.20 and add one of your own question instead.
3. Tag 8 victims to do this tag.

Questions:

1.What is your dream when you were a small kid?
to grow up so i can drive to the playground by myself.

2.What is the happiest thing in your whole life?
i got to actually feel like im a part of the ocean the last time i went snorkelling

3.What do you wish to have right now?
ice cream. preferably something with rum in it.

4.When is the last time you horse laughed?
i dont horse laugh. i snort. it was when Hong Seng said something about testicles.

5.What did you realize recently?
i shouldnt get married early. i lack the patience and since im a guy, im afraid of commitment.

6.Which bad habit in you that is the most unacceptable?
i tend to scrutinize. and problem is, i dont even know what scrutinize means.

7.When you are unhappy, what will you do?
i bite my pillow, listen to the cardigans, take hourlong showers and eat.

8.What are you afraid of losing?
body parts

9.Within 5 years, which target is the most realistic one?
i have always been realistic.

10.When you meet someone that you like, will you profess or hide your feeling?
i stay close but i never profess.

11. List out 3 kinds of people you hate the most.
i hate everyone. its just the matter of how much.

12.Define loneliness.
great all-about-myself time

13.Are you satisfied with your life now?
i dont know.

14.When is the most recent time you felt touched?
when a freak slapped my ass when i walk pass him.

16. A song that is playing in your mind recently.
its playing over your speaker now ( if you have one).

17. If you have a wish to come true, what is it?
i get to go to where i want to go to further my studies (ask me).

18. Do you have anything to be worried or scared recently?
i have been worried ever since Borat in a hideous underwear was classified as a celebrity.
scared? none that i have realised

19.If the world is going to end, what will you do?
i'll drink to all the sins mankind has ever done

20.do you love cheese?
yes i do.

and i tag..... anyone who wants tagging.
this is not a free-for-all blog the last time i made sure i checked

little things people do




"God will forgive me.
It's his job."
-Heinrich Heine

im home. reason: -none of the listed-

i just realized how bitter my blog is becoming. its scary. and well, not something i would like reading anyway. come on, wake up to a sunny day with a tune in your head. switch the computer on and blip you see marcus' blog and wheres the tune again? lol.

prologue
im sick. i have a fever that wasnt even mine to discover to begin with and theres this crude, almost disbalancing throbbing pain in my head that really gets into my nerves. good thing: i am skipping marching practice as i type this.

morning
its great to get to oversleep. i woke up early enough to find myself home alone. the sunlight is bleak. ever since we gotten this tinted windows. the house just dont seem as lively anymore. walked around. switched on the telly: no crappy reality series or lousy yesterday-years movie worth my time. bla bla bla bla im here.

just seconds ago...
i read a few blogs and mine and one i found in a recent edition of a magazine. then i realized. goodness. im so bitter for no reason reason enough for me to be bitter without looking like an immatured mehshugga.

new resolution
i'll do whatever it takes to smile through everything! even if it makes me look like im constipated. i'll just be optimistic. it wont be all that hard. i have a home. i have my sanity. i have lots of things where some people on the other side of the world would kill for. i've been whining.
i'll admit that. so here goes....
...
(im smiling without any reason at my computer)
...
..
.
thank god no one is looking at me. haha .
lo and behold, hey i feel better already!

so it goes
now i need to go grab something to eat. you dont weigh 83 kilogrammes for no reason you know.


loves, hugs, apple strudels, and all things warm and fuzzy

marcs



Monday, January 28, 2008

long enough

it has been awhile since my last post. to the point where someone went bezerk and go "Update! Update!" on my blogroll (to that someone:dont stop its cute).

so what have i done over my period of absence? only an ex-form 5s may truly understand. catching up with school is much harder than usual when added with the weight of knowing that spm may suddenly be in my face if i dont tread around time carefully. so as many may presume, lots of homework and tuition and studying and tuition.

its hectic, life currently. since i have never took tuitions for more than one subject. or at one point of last year, two subjects but i stopped for the exact same reason why i want to fall sick and sleep for the next whole week. its crazy how people i see around me scurry from one tuition to another so efficiently without going on the brink of crying unintendedly.

honestly im so fragile nowadays. i break at the slightest details like the way a tree sways or how blue the sky is (emo i know). i have a feeling that this is the early signs of depression.
......

god its late. i have to go get myself ready to kick and strive tomorrow.
sigh...

i so need a motivation.
realize how dramatic my language gets when im deprived of my carefree years?? get used to it. until SPM is over, this is what you'll see.

oh heres something! someone i know just got engaged two days ago!
aww...its so sweet. its like reading a jodi picoult novel..

signing out,
*poof*

Sunday, January 20, 2008

im so not in the mood.

dunno why but just very ....blu.
i dont find any possible reasons to be so but i just do.

oh it rhymes.
lol. if i continue i might actually create a song .

....
....
....
......crackle...CRANK!!...crackle..SCREeeech...sizz.....

great...now i feel even worse.

signing out

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Homework at its worst.

a partial reply to ayesha: (its what u want to be called nowadays right?).

weekend was *blank* *blank*.
went to education fair and made a total fool out of myself by having no ambition. heres what i said to all those who asked what course i plan to take."i'm basically ambition-less can you recommend any?" . almost every exhibitionist gave me a blank look.
lol. i could almost see the clockwork in their heads creak and crackle while they figure me out.

BM homework literally took over me the entire weekend. try having notes that need to be done for half an antology (the chair: go figure) waiting at home. and your teacher being the *ask me* who started the day with a pervert-ish joke.

every five minutes i have a damn "little" voice shouting just above my right shoulders "HELLO?? HOMEWORK NO NEED DO AR??"

damn imaginary alter-ego: spoilsport.

the brighter side:
i went to banana republic with a friend. the people there were nice. the clothes: nyea. picked up a pair of jeans . saw the price. pretended that theres no size for me and walked out.

lol.
talk about an adventure of sorts.

PS: i hear the voice again.
signing out

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

SCRATCH THAT!

re-read my previous post and i take back the whole hail mary crap .that guy asked for fifty cents before i left. weird...

eventhough its still cheap but hello?? its not free so i dedicate the previous post to myself again.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

ten minutes

you've heard of nineteen minutes but have you heard of ten?

heres the dig. i went to tuition for the first time in TS Kua but guess what. im an hour early. crap

so what can i do? i wandered around the dingy place and then went through all my old sms-es in my phone in the dark then walked again. i stumbled apon a middle aged man (perhaps older) and then he asked what form im in. i was talking to Su Jin at that time. perhaps seeing me lingering around pointlessly raised his suspicions. dont blame him. but do i look like a potential...er rapist?

i dont want the answer. i would rather continue thinking of myself as the celibate saint. lol

so there i was after the "talk". oh did i mention that that person was Mr. Kua himself? forgive me if i didnt recognise him. heck i have never even seen him before.

i went downstairs to catch some air. walked around a little more. and voi la .im in a cybercafe for the first time in my life. i feel like....a felon.

but the guy was nice. i wanted to buy for an hour.then i asked whether he would for half-an-hour.then he was like :"err...about 1 ringgit la".so i said its ok and that i will be using for only twenty minutes or so.

then the good man said. go on and use its on the house. hail mary !theres kindness in the world

so heres to you. cybercafe man.

signing out***

Friday, January 4, 2008

By the end of the week. we all needed this.

heres what an innocent mind may be capable of. ...
heres what adult minds are usually like.....

and heres what some adults minds are better of being like.

A guy gets asked a stupid question in a supermarket - here is his answer

"I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.





Stupid bitch... why else would I buy dog food?? "





lol. a banana by any other name would taste as sweet.



love this? YOU BETTER...

im seriously in love with this song.(the one playing over your speaker now as you read this). its so catchy and all .the lyrics is weird. unique.unlike any other. but most of all most people dont know who the heck ingrid michaelson is so im spared from hearing the guy sitting at my 8 o'clock in class sing it off tune.heres the lyrics so you can judge for yourself how unconventional it is.


I could write my name by the age of three
and I don't need anyone to cut my meat for me.
I'm a big girl now, see my big girl shoes.
It'll take more than just a breeze to make me

Fall over, fall over, fall overboard, overboard.
Fall overboard just so you can catch me
But as strong as I seem to think I am my distressing damsel,
She comes out at night
when the moon's filled up and your eyes are bright,
then I think I simply aught to
Fall over, fall over, fall overboard, overboard.
Fall overboard just so you can catch me.
You can catch me.

I watch the ships go sailing by
I play the girl will you play the guy.
And I never thought I'd be the type
to fall, to fall, to fall, to fall to fall.
To fall over, fall over, fall overboard, overboard.
Fall overboard just so you can catch me.
You can catch me, you can catch me, you can catch-

I watch the ships go sailing by
I be your girl will you be my guy.
And I never thought I'd be the type to fall, to fall.
To fall, to fall, to fall...To fall over,
fall over, fall overboard, overboard.
Fall overboard just so you can catch me.
You can catch me, you can catch me.


ps:wait till you see the lyrics for keep breathing. there was more than 15 "keep breathing"s repeated through out the song. lol. go google.

loves.

im posting this thing i call le post

im already dreading to go to school. first day was ...nyea... so and so.
i always try to think that the first day is nice just for the sake of doing so. lol.

*i need coffee.*

cherios everyone!