okay...i said i was coming back. for once i actually meant to come back and type in another post or two after dinner. but as comically possible, twist of fate had me down with chicken pox. so there i was. lying on the bed. sicker than i have ever been all year round. who would have had had known that it was so excruciating.it wasnt the itch . honestly there werent much itch at all. it was, in fact the constant aches all over and the sleeplessness when you want to and the sleeping when the sun is up. it wasnt as easily simple as i am describing it but trust me when i say its not a bloody bed of roses. i would know. i love roses. but thats not the point so where was i?.... no i cant recall. but who bloody cares. there are so many things to do now that im a new person. literally. my face can be the ultimate metaphor to describe the goddamned surface of mars..

sigh...i really do have so much emotions in me. too much for a guy. sometimes i dont think of myself as a male. more like...... a crab. a simple, sidewalking, bottomfeeding, shortlived, sometimes a delicacy crustacean. i would have loved that. (its my other personality talking)

oh god no. im getting nauseas again...... right now i live day by day telling myself this would not befall me again.why why why would this infuriating,skin-inflaming disease be a necessary creation of god? WHY???????>>>>>