flashbacks!

ok here goes. i know spm was long over and my blog had been more dead than ever , but you cant blame me for wanting to do nothing after so many years of being under the governmental education system. i have been looking forward for this way long before spm even started. nevertheless i have had my wish and right now its killing me that im too free. who would have had known that doing nothing could be so frustrating. it goes up into my head and gives me mood swings. every now and then i have to remind myself that i have a phallus and im not pregnant.

spm was without a doubt no fun.i studied so much i wanted to cry and just sleep. although there were days between exams but the timing is so ridiculous. fancy having exams from eight in the morning to four in the afternoon. by the time it ended we were all so exhausted that just thinking of physics test the next day might be fatal. i would have had taken pictures of all the sebum coated faces and tousled hairs but i was just as wrecked. so nevermind that.

people keeps telling me that i would miss school and i am sure i will but right now, i just want to hate it. and then i can realise how true what they all said and tell people younger than me they will miss school so the whole cycle can start again. its the whole experience, kinda like a rite of passage.

i say that if you can endure spm ( if you are the serious about it la) you can endure almost (a.l.m.o.s.t.) anything. you learn to divide your time to chapters you need to study, survive on minimal sleep and nervous breakdowns. i have had my share of all that and by the time its all over, you seriously feel grateful everytime you wake up in the middle of the night, look at the time, and remind yourself that you can still sleep for another four hours. i still recall how i would sleep for half an hour between studying sessions so that i wouldnt think of all the negative things in the world. thank god the mumbai thing happened after the exams (RIP: its worth another post later)

i now believe on the existence of post spm stress. its not only the results you are worried of, but more of all the stress you put on yourself so that you have fun. too much fun is bad for you. and so is trying too hard.

ok im going to scram right now but I WILL BE BACK>>