part one

i feel the caressing winds slide through my hair as it glides over my skin,taking away the heaviness and leaving, in its place, a comforting emptiness. The forementioned wind is relentless. She goes on and on.never stops, never will. even as it rustle through the leaves granted by the early seasons and over oceans of ancient waters.

I lie on my back over the hill of miniature proportions elevated on fields so low it stands awkward like a white elephant, a freak of nature but no less beautiful. the night sky hangs low over the lands as if mourning for a lover not returned. the velvet black cries. Honest tears of pure light, scattered, like the souls of fighters lost on the battlefield... sparkling,like the hopes of minds innocent and unstained. why such sadness? for should you not be she who lightens the dark and darken the light?

....

the seasoned owl hoots softly in the mists shrouding veils on dissapointments left aside by no one who cares. i touch the grasses between my fingers, cool and damp. sweet and green, even without looking, i know...... for she is the one to trust when all else fails. never saying much she quietly pains under me trying hard to go on.nevertheless i know, because she is too a big a part of my existence, of ours. shes hope and we are hers.

the air is silent, loud with the quiet budding of the frail flower buds vying for the rays of the last of the wintersuns in the moments to come . i listen..... i never had. its deafening. the way the bees hum restlessly in their hives, waiting for the sign to resume the battle for survival. why has'nt anyone else heard them? creeping vines and twining shoots curl in agony to reach for the heavens. the things they do, as subtle as it is, meant more than all that we ever have done. why does no one listen to them? why not?

........

she keeps everything prim and proper. never fails to bring the miracles of the days we havetaken for granted. despite it all......... all the appreciations we never gave, her existence we have come to forget, she stays her roots. like in everything else, she comes and goes in the things we see and the things look. its us who tend to oversee. she is there, alone,waiting for our return.... but until then, we overlook.



(to be continued)
ps: i wrote the first half of this during the last fives minutes of english test for no apparent reason.i guess boredom has many ways of expressing itself.

bedlam where?

i just read mei yens blog....scary how much she posts. she actually takes the time to write and
re-conjure thoughts and things that happened to her since her last post. scary....

i need a smack in the head. sorry, but like i mentioned in my first post , im not the type to write it all down. especially not for all to read. well... unless im depressed, which is happening in an alarming frequency lately. lol.

so in case my will and attempt to post more often in the future burns out, heres wishing AISHA a big great birthday!! its this wednesday people (9th april). LA la LA la LA la

*poof
*

fesse grosse -in memoriam-

-its a shocker-

we grief..
for dearly beloved..
recently departed friend
whom we had learned to cope with..
whom we had grew to laugh with..
and shared priceless moments
....despite your unpredictable mood swings

sorry you have to leave now
without any prior notice
but we are glad for you
glad you get to be with They...
who you really aught to be with
glad that you finally get your dream come true.

we acknowledge your hardships
we try..
as discreetly as possible..
the way you live every next day
to give you the support
and remind you...
of the people around you..
who still care

its saddening.
its a grief.
it leaves an empty void in our niche
you are truly one of a kind
unusual....
but definately one of a kind.

now that you are there
and we are here,
we may not meet as much
nor talk with one another
but someday..
someday...
we'll meet

and together we'll reminisce
our little memories
and the times
we had spent carelessly
but which had made a difference
to each of us.

we love you
and we always will.

R.I.P.
C yo

R - Realism
I - as Insanely as
P - Possible

goodbye and goodluck to your new beginning in sunway.
may everything be well and reap the joys you deserve

truly,
5 Science 3

PS - who would've known i was a hell of a liturgist.
PSS - please be noted that NO ONE is DEAD!!

im drained

i slept last night with solid determination to wake up the next day and be as useful as i can to myself; study, homework; assignments. despite all that hot gas, i woke up today 3 hours later than the alarm i've set.the blood sluicing in the hollows of my veins feel cool, light, barely there. everytime i step foot to do something i feel the nausea rising like a monster buried deep and rising to seek revenge.

im sick.
im depressed.
i feel empty.
i crave the warm rays of the sun.
hoping the glorious warmth can fill me up again somehow.
..
..
..

my mum is calling me out in a very weird manner. be right back...

*traipsing downstairs*



OMG!!!! finally!! something exciting!! my house is flooded!! whoo!! isnt this fun??!!
goodbye!

on the bright side

all the bitterness and i forgot about the better things.MY birthday!

yea its over but it was one of my best. we went to the highlands to celebrate. the weather was beautiful, absolutely charming compared to the polluted gaseous matter we call "air" down here. i received more sms greetings this year than i ever had before and the number of people who'd stayed until 12 just to call me is alarming!! so heres a bunch of loving thanks to all those who had the sincerity to spend mobile credit for me! aisha, for the great book. hong seng, for the unnecessarily abnormal chain of sms-es, and all the rest who are dear.

thank you all and warm hugs.

-title-less-

ok i admit (despite the obviousness) that it has been long since i have posted. of all the many bright and shiny days i have to choose today. the day i feel most unlikely to post anything at all. truth be told i have not been feeling rather well lately. i all started on the day SPM 2007 results were announced. its sickening. the nausea, the bloated-ness, the migrain(watched atonement? its pronouncced me-grain. as in mee goreng), worse of all, the sudden urge to cry for no apparent reason. however,i would still not allow myself to think of myself as sick. lame philosophy but i think that you are what you think you are.

these signs...my mum said were the unmistakeable signs of pregnancy, PMS, and menopause. all i could do was look at her miserably and whine how this was supposed to make me feel any better. funny you may say but not very when you are the one sitting in front of the computer fighting the urge to barf.

not to mention all my untended homeworks. seni folio (aisha i just read your blog) is no less uncared for during the past six days of holiday. no doubt this was week was the most unproductive this whole year. a friend (HS), suggested that my mild depression was somehow caused by SPM. couldnt help but agree. everyone i know didnt get straight A's. and me?

im depressed. there i said it.

hail god! who art in heaven. help thy nauseas son art in chemistry in physics.
(another side effect of me-grain. it makes me all poetic,)
ps: i wanna cry again.....

im back! finally

great to know some people missed me.lol. sorry for the draggy posts but you cant blame me for wanting to sleep everytime i get back from school now can you? yes im a pig. truth be told. haha.

look i'll be away for the next four days and i will be back with more stories and photos. love all of you guys out there.

see you soon.